Today I find myself wrestling with steadfast hope.
Hope that begs to be fully rested on the grace brought to me by the revelation of Jesus -
He is everything. He is Kingdom in life-interrupting motion.
And I grapple with the fact that He calls me to be holy.
Many days I fall so short of that steadfast hope.
I want to creep back into convincing myself that I can't take on the daily problems and the big problems. Too often, relationships are easier to let go then to fight for. I am changing so fast... Tulsa feels about 10 million miles away already. But am I changing as He wants me to?
I was redeemed from the empty life, purchased with precious blood and not corruptible things like gold or silver. I was ransomed with eternity, not the quick fix.
So I am trying very hard to actually let God get past the surface and effect REAL change in me. I am tired of basing my life on the rituals that don't matter and motivations that fail. Sometimes my heart is so full. Other days I feel the enormity of leaving my safe places behind.
But He has called me to live life as a stranger to this world in reverent fear, loving deeply from my heart and recognizing all that is really important.
"For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring Word of God."
1 Peter 1:23
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